love song for a lost boy

and so, yes, when you thought that I was sad,

I was, crumpled and tiny,

hidden behind the sheer happiness

of seeing you again,

tucked away

behind my luminous smile,

because it was so painfully bittersweet.

You stopped singing,

because you could see

that I was softly crying,

my tears made you uneasy,

and I could not even explain to you,

why it was that I was crying.

If only I could have told you then,

that a part of me was slowly dying

when the realization hit me,

with the sheer magnitude

of all that I was losing,

in the split second,

of loving you this much.

I was sitting

in the middle

of the spinning present,

knowing full well

what the future would become,

when the moment was gone.

What was written in water,

would soon be carved in stone.

I cried because your words were a gift,

your voice so kind,

gently filling the empty,

seeping spaces of my lonely existence.

The warmth of your eyes

penetrating the chill of my solitude

and in that absolute time in space,

I was a ghost to my own memory.

I was trying to sculpt you into my history,

let the sweet baritone of your song

penetrate my protective core.

I was closing up,

but letting you in,

before the bridges were drawn.

I was trying to absorb the beauty

of your face

before your shadow

crossed the new horizon of dawn

and night closed the curtains

on our very last dance.

oh such cruel circumstance

to allow us, but only one chance.

And so, yes, here I sit,

the other side of then,

in a strange place called now.

Where you exist, still,

but rise to face the sun in someone else's sky,

oh the song you sang then,

was the song for lovers gone bye.

You left with my heart pinned to your sleeve.

You left me marked

for all eternal eve.

I saw your scar

fading into the amber

of your skin,

when you lifted your shirt

to show me the remnant

of a fiery battle,

that you were once in.

That night

I dreamt of kissing

the seam of your scar,

running my tongue

along the jagged edge,

not erasing it,

but embracing

the beauty of it,

the shape like a river

twisting into the consuming sea.

I cried to remember the song.

I cried at the imprint of time,

marking the passage

of our fleeting history.

Eventually, You took your leave,

but not before wiping

a single tear from my cheek

and pressing it to your lips.

We have tasted one another,

bathed in an ambrosia

of salt and honeyed musk,

only surfacing for air.

our mouths have been sealed

with flickering tongues

in silent reverie.

You have filled

my throat with poetry,

to trembling capacity,

my screams have inscribed your soul

and in every

throbbing,

pulsing

moment,

we were always about to disappear.

Time erases us all.

But some things, beautiful and shimmering are left behind.

a single tear weeps to the floor.

And shatters.

Everything Matters.

Everything Matters

Oh this unrelenting pain that I am in,

I wouldn't trade it away at all.

be left without the memory of you,

is more than I can contain,

so I cling to the pictures inside my head.

My beloved, I am not bereft,

I am overjoyed

to have held you like the wind

in the midst of rain.

I never took you for granted.

How could I?

but my love held steady,

my love is all that remains.

Everything matters.

Everything matters.

Especially you,

my beautiful boy blue

so sing me your song.

here with me,

is where you belong.

Sing me your song.

Don't stop, just because I am weeping.

Keep trying. keep on keeping.

Play away,

serenade the night

and sing the restless stars to sleep,

while the breathless angels sigh with jealousy,

for when I look into your tiger striped eyes,

I am swept away,

lost at sea

to a great love

capsized.

and I know that some day we shall meet again,

and the heavens will align,

and our hearts and hands will entwine

in the eclipse of eternity.

and on your lips,

I will taste the sweet kiss

of forevermore.

So sing away.

Time is fleeting,

but this chance meeting,

was so clandestine.

Play away.

Sing that I am yours.

and you.

my love,

~ are mine.